Fitness Trends destined for the dustbin?

Zumba

In the name of exercise, dancing will always have a presence. In the beginning there was Jazzercise. Now, Zumba. Both highly aerobic, set to music and with freakishly fit instructors that make you rethink what you thought were pretty sweet dance moves. 

Fitness Factor: High

Staying Power: Low

Crossfit

Classify this under the “functional movement” trend, otherwise known as the School of Lifting Heavy Things Over and Over again. It’s turned our best friends into beasts of the weight room, lifting more than we will in a lifetime. The downside is that now it’s all they talk about. Social gatherings with more than 1 Crossfit devotee quickly devolve into push-up contests and cryptic discussions of unintelligible terms such as kipping, burpees, WOD and Muscle-Ups. We don’t know what they’re talking about, but it sounds hard.

Fitness Factor:Hulk High

Staying Power: High (but we hate to admit it)

Recess style

Like Crossfit, but for adults who really just miss the playground. Think the same emphasis on body-weight exercises, but instead of a sterile gym environment, you’re doing pull-ups on the monkey bars and hoping you don’t fall off the rings. And it turns out Tag is a killer cardio workout—when you’re not hiding behind the slide. Still, it’s hard not to feel a little bit silly chasing people around when you’re calling “you’re IT!” at 30 instead of in the 3rd grade.

Fitness Factor:Medium

Staying Power: Medium. We’re just waiting for the recess bell to ring

Ballet/yoga hybrid classes

There are countless classes touting the merits of barre work as the key to getting the body of a principal ballerina. Sometimes combined with yoga, these classes practice slow, controlled movements that “sculpt” your body into the sinewy muscles of the professionals. Yes, that Misty Copeland Under Armour commercial was ridiculously awesome, but unless you spend 40 hours a week in class, you probably won’t come close. 

Fitness Factor:Low. Count us as dubious.

Staying Power: Low. How long can it take for everyone to get over their ballerina fantasy?

Bodyblade 

We don’t want to ruin it by saying much. Just see for yourself, and wonder how they didn’t learn from the Shake Weight.

Fitness Factor: Low. Highly skeptical would be putting it mildly.
Staying Power: Low. If you blink in the next 5 seconds, you’ll miss it completely

Kale/Quinoa/Caveman Foods

You may have heard of a little thing called the Paleo Diet. In fact you probably heard it from those Crossfit friends we mentioned before. We’re totally on board with cutting out refined sugars, but the frenzied passion this kale-loving lifestyle inspires reminds us a little too much of those days when everyone was crazy about Atkins. Do we think it’s generally healthy? Yes. Worth giving up an occasional donut? Definitely not.

Fitness Factor:High. We may roll our eyes, but we eat it anyway.

Staying Power:Medium.We’re already on the lookout for Next Big Thing.

Step Counters/Fitness Trackers

The FitBit wars have begun! Wearable activity and fitness trackers are having a huge moment right now, and there’s no denying they are one of the coolest fitness trends out there. But just how long can the love affair with knowing your heart rate, step count, sleep quality and other metrics last? We give it at most another few years. It may have your undying devotion now, but so did your Tamagotchi, and how long did that relationship last?

Fitness Factor:Medium. Helpful, but not enough to get us off our couch.

Staying Power:Medium.The technology might stick around, but eventually the field will narrow to the real superstars.

There you have it. We may be right in our predictions, or completely off the mark, but we’ll have a lot of fun sitting back and watching the trends ebb and flow. Preferably with a kale smoothie in hand.